Would That I Might

I once more gave myself a bit of an easy day, as I know that tomorrow I will hit the ground running once more.  I do feel that I did get quite a bit accomplished in preparation for the work I am planning, but I acknowledge it was mostly in my head and not anything concrete as of yet.  Under ordinary circumstances, I would feel that was a bad sign, but I think that taking two days to not work on a major project after finishing a novel is reasonable. While that is true, I do know that I have a lot of work to get done in the next week.  First,  I am still planning to submit a play for that reading series.  I actually submitted another piece recently, to a different local theater, but I am not sure what will happen with that.  I feel that the idea I have for my new play is really good, and I am actually pretty close to having it in my head. Tomorrow, I plan to sit down and write that out, as well as to begin the new novel.  The new book is going to be drastically different from the las

I decided that, having finished the first draft of the new novel, I would take a day off from most of my writing.  I did do some reviewing of the novel, though only the first few pages, and I can see that it will definitely need work, but I already knew that.  I do feel incredible to have completed it, and I recognize that what I have already accomplished, thus far is a great deal. It seems worth considering what I think was right and what may not have worked as well, in terms of the process that I have been following.  I feel that the use of the timer worked quite well for most of the book, but then, at some point towards the end, I rebelled against that and found I was able to do more work with less regimenting at that point.  The sense of obligation to reach the end is something that I felt very strongly about, and it did create some anxiety, but allowing myself to recognize that it wouldn't matter at the end of the day made a big difference to that.  It was at that time that

I have done it.  The completed draft is printing as I write these words, and I feel elated, despite the awareness that much work is still to be done.  I have a number of things that I am aware of already, but I am truly excited that I actually did it.  The final word count for the draft, which will likely increase as I do have some things I intend to add in tomorrow, is 68,334 words.  I acknowledge that this is still a short novel, but for a month's work, I think it is quite decent, and I am glad to have finished with a bit of time to spare for other things before nanowrimo actually begins. The ending itself went quite well, though I did need to take a moment and rethink some of it a bit.  I also know that I may have rushed the end a tiny bit, and will want to add a few things to it.  There is a lot of work, but I got to the end of the current story, and that is something I feel is worth celebrating a bit.  Of course, at a bit after 2 am, that's not likely to happen, but I do

Things are really picking up with Gus And Bow.  I've cleared through a lot of material and am now at the point where the action is really taking off.  The scene that is unfolding feels immense, and it is the beginning of that final phase of the climax.  Word count is at around 66,400 and I am still working tonight. There are still many things that I need to figure out, but they are things that I realize need to be understood in the writing.  One reason that I feel I'm not inclined to a traditional outlining process is that I think, very much, that a book is made up of the language, and not of the concepts behind that language.  The ideas being communicated come out of the words, not the other way around, or at least not entirely, and the meaning of the language is a result of the way it is used in the work.  In essence, I can't know what is going to occur unless I am aware of the details of the language that it is constructed from. That is to say, I am aware that the th

Today was an extremely productive day: I broke 65,000 words tonight, and am at the cusp of the real action of the climax.  I feel far more assured about the ending than I had even a few hours ago, when I gave my last update, though I still need to ascertain some of it.  There has been a bit of clarification on certain points, which makes it easier for me to begin imagining how it will work out. As mentioned, I need to balance two concepts with each other, and each one needs to fit with certain parameters.  The overall ending will be unresolved, in some ways, and is going to need to be bittersweet as well.  That has to develop out of these separate elements, and the individual pieces need to also be able to fit together in the right way. This, in part, has to do with fracturing the narrative, in a way that will create two distinct views on events that then have to come back together into a single narrative again at the end, without resolving the fracture.  It is a strange idea, but

It has been a productive day for the book so far, and I am intending to do more work shortly.  I've been writing a rather long bit that is revealing the past, and am hovering around 64.000 words at this moment.  I do wonder if, in rewriting, I may wish to alter how this is structured, and somehow move more of this into the action in some ways, but I also see how it works in the structure of the book to have so much coming through in this way. I also sense that their is a big change about to happen in this moment.  The character who is so friendly to them, at this point, is not the nice guy he is pretending to be, though it is something that is having difficulty getting out.  He is honest, at this point, except perhaps about his own motives.  The shift that is going to occur is also the point, I believe, when the real action of the conclusion will actually occur. It is close to that point, and when that starts, it will be a really exciting thing to write, on several levels, but

I think that freeing myself from concern about the deadline has been good.  I'm now at 62,500 words exactly, and feel that a lot of things are becoming clear to me.  In some ways, what is unfolding has surprised me, and it reveals things that I didn't quite understand, which seems to me to be a very positive thing.  I have a strong sense that what is coming will be far more complicated than I anticipate, in terms of some of the plot, but it is really coming along, and I feel much more enthused as to the writing.  To whit, I am not feeling that sense of dread that was hanging about me before. Of course, I'm still hoping that I will be done by in the next few days, but I am alright if not, and can accept that while recognizing that I have done a great deal already.  I expect that I will spend much time tomorrow at work on the book, though, and am quite hopeful for that.  I feel that I could jump back in right at this moment, honestly, but am a bit tired, and want to let mys

I recognize that one of the issues that is causing me, right at this moment, to feel some hesitancy around the book is a fear that I might not finish by the first.  Now, in one sense, this is insignificant.  As far as it goes, I have completed the challenge as it is written, and I should be willing to allow myself that time to complete what I must, recognizing that it won't be that long anyhow.  This is complicated by my desire to enter the official nanowrimo next month, but I could either keep working on this and write the new piece, or put Gus And Bow aside for a month, if I chose.  I think, if I did not feel this pressure, it would be less difficult and I probably would get finished in the time I wish anyhow.  I'm certainly writing, and I find that a lot of interesting things are coming together, with characters showing little quirks and depths I hadn't necessarily imagined.  I recognize that I am still not to the part where things will be more difficult to write, but

In spite of my misgivings and hesitation, I actually had a quite good day in terms of writing.  Not only am I now over 60,000 words, but I also think that I understand the structural and formal elements of the ending.  Now, of course, I still need to see exactly how that will work in terms of plot, but understanding how the story will work and how it will be told are immense for me. I do still feel a bit shaky about the overall story, and whether it is working or not.  The book has a rather convoluted story, and that could be too much.  As well, certain elements might be introduced too late, at least in terms of their direct revelation.  I do feel that the story moves well, in a general sense, though I can still imagine how it might need to be smoothed out a bit and their are certainly still other additions I wish to do. It also may be that I will need to go back and look at the book very carefully in terms of word choice after I finish the ending.  I feel, certainly, that I will h

I did a bunch of work on Gus and Bow this morning, and am feeling rather enthused in terms of the ideas for the book.  On some level, I have cracked the major problem of the ending, though I still have issues with the specifics, and the solution is more complicated than I had anticipated, as it relies upon breaking the narrative as presented, in order to fracture the entire reality of the story in a specific way.  This fracture will allow for an ambiguity that will leave the ending unresolved in a particular way. I don't wish to get too deep into the specifics, but the general idea is something that was actually quite obvious and actually, now that I think about it, inherent within the central narrative device of the novel.  As well, it will allow the ending to serve as a form of a key for the book, in a certain way.  There is a lot to be considered in terms of this, as it will mean that the story has to split apart in a very particular way that will allow it to come back togethe

I am focusing my writing efforts on finishing Gus And Bow by the end of the month.  Today, I did reach the beginning of the climax, but I also recognize that it will be a bit of a long climax, and I think I did get a sense of the actual ending of the piece.  Some aspects of it are still not entirely clear to me yet, but I have a strong sense of how it will shake out, and of most of the actual beats that are to come. I actually did quite a lot of work, today, though some of it was earlier in the book, working to thread in a bit that I knew was needed.  I am quite glad about the work that I have done, and I feel that the climax will determine a lot of what needs to be done in order to make the book work fully.  I am also wondering at the effectiveness of certain things, but I am aware that much of that is down to linguistic specifics that I can deal with in rewriting. One thing that I do want to say is that I feel very much that I have a different relationship to this book than I ha

I broke 55,000 words today, but I am still waiting for the climax to truly begin.  I can feel all the pieces falling into place, and I am just waiting for something to blow everything into full action.  I have a sense of what that will be, and I think it is coming quite soon, actually.  I think, really, it is very close.  In fact, writing that sentence, I was realizing the sequence of events that is unfolding right now.  The scene I am working on at the moment is a dream sequence, but it is not irrelevant as many are, to a story, as it is actually a form of communication that is being used to contact the narrators.  The story is complicated, but I also recognize that dreams are a major part of my work, at this point.  While they don't always have to be part of a story, for me, I recognize that they are central in W/R and now in Gus And Bow as well.  In each case, the dreams have a different function within the narrative, I believe, and I think that I use them in ways that are n

It becomes obvious when looking at most art forms that it is necessary to learn much about the technical aspects of a medium and the tools that are applicable, as well as understanding the actual application of technique.  For instance, a photographer needs to understand their camera, how it works and what is necessary to create the right results.  They need an understanding of light and optics, and a sense of how to turn what they take with the camera into a finished photo, traditionally through development and today, largely, through digital tools.  I studied stone sculpture with an artist, and I came to understand that he knew so much about the rocks he worked with.  He could see where they were flawed, and understood, as well, how they had formed and where they came from, because those things informed how the rock would react to his tools.  Which, of course, brings up another subject on which he was an expert, as he had to not only use the tools, but keep them in proper order.  His

To begin, my meeting this morning went well and I actually got a request for the full manuscript, which is rather exciting, even if it is not necessarily going to lead anywhere.  More importantly, I felt that I was able to make a positive connection with someone in the industry who seemed to recognize that I had a place there as well.  As I said yesterday, I recognize that this is about making those connections and building those relationships. I also feel quite good about the writing that I did today.  I did cut down to focus the bit of time I had and only did the work on Gus And Bow , but I feel very happy with the scene that I worked on.  It involved the return of a character from the start of the novel, as mentioned yesterday, in a role that I had not expected, and also brought an item into the book that I don't yet know anything about.  Right now, it is a small but heavy unopened box, and I am not really certain what is in it. I think that tomorrow is going to be a busy da

First, I am over 50,000 words, a few days behind schedule, but feeling quite energized about the rest of the book.  It is happening and each scene seems to be winding closer to the climax.  As well, I can feel that elements from early in the book are going to return, things I hadn't thought about (indeed, I think I might need to add them in as touches throughout.  I already believe that I need to add some scenes with a character who was in the beginning of the book, as I can sense that he will return, and that will only make sense if he has been seen again). I really believe that I will have a reasonably good draft on my hands, and one that I can do a lot to shape up, without really too much trouble, as what I think is really needed in order for it to work is just a bit more.  I have a lot of it dialed in, I think, but I need to keep some more action going, and that might mean adding in some bits with this character that also can serve to add some action sequences. There is, of

I am writing this largely to get myself into the mental space for working today.  It is a bit earlier than my usual starting time of the last few days, and I am quite glad for that.  I need to get some good sleep in today, as tomorrow morning I have an online meeting with a literary agent.  It really is not anything that big, in that I expect it will mostly just be a chance for me to get some pointers, though I am hopeful that she might be interested in reading the book, and may even decide that she wants to sign me.  However, I also see that W/R is a hard sell, not only for me, but for an agent as well, and as such am keeping a more realistic perspective. In many ways, right now, what would be most helpful, assuming that I don't somehow luck out and get plucked up right away (which I feel safe saying is unlikely at the moment), is to get a bit of a perspective, and some consideration, perhaps, of what serve in terms of actually pitching the work in the future.  That is both in

I  feel quite good about the work that I am doing on the novel at the moment.  As mentioned, I have doubts about it on some level, but I am also thrilling in the creation of it.  The book is shaping itself in ways that I'd not really thought of, and I can see more about the ending and what is happening than I had thought. The section I wrote today feels like it really is opening up the concepts that are already in the works, and in ways that felt more subtle and evenly paced than I might have anticipated.  Their are ideas being set up to allow for an easing of other ideas to come in, and yet I had not really begun with those thoughts in mind. In some sense, I feel like I am reading the book myself, at the moment.  The words are flowing and the ideas seem to already be ready, just waiting for the opportunity to leap onto the page.  That is the great joy that can be found when one is deep into the writing and it is going well.  Of course, what really seems frightening about th

It seems worth getting a bit more explicit about some of my thinking in terms of Gus And Bow at the moment.  The writing is going quite well, at this point, and I am quite happy, but I also recognize that it is still, in some ways, not necessarily going to work without a lot of other changes.  I'm also quite doubtful of my ability to assess that, so I don't even really know if I am correct.  It may be working in ways I can't see or understand. To explain, one element of this is that I have moments in the story that occur when I will sort of throw out something and it will become a detail that I recognize will need to have some meaning and explanation within the story.  That is not always overt, but I need an understanding of why this is true, and it needs to inform the story.  At the same time, I don't always understand the reasoning when I put a detail into the book. For example, one character had an experience that, even as I wrote it, I knew was not particularly