A Writer's Notebook, Day Sixty-Eight
I am focusing my writing efforts on finishing Gus And Bow by the end of the month. Today, I did reach the beginning of the climax, but I also recognize that it will be a bit of a long climax, and I think I did get a sense of the actual ending of the piece. Some aspects of it are still not entirely clear to me yet, but I have a strong sense of how it will shake out, and of most of the actual beats that are to come.
I actually did quite a lot of work, today, though some of it was earlier in the book, working to thread in a bit that I knew was needed. I am quite glad about the work that I have done, and I feel that the climax will determine a lot of what needs to be done in order to make the book work fully. I am also wondering at the effectiveness of certain things, but I am aware that much of that is down to linguistic specifics that I can deal with in rewriting.
One thing that I do want to say is that I feel very much that I have a different relationship to this book than I had with my previous novel. The issue is related to things I have said before, in which I talked about wanting to understand the book inside my own mind in a way. While I do not feel that, at least not entirely or in the sense that I mean, I do have a feeling of this as a thing that is made by my hands and with an understanding of it as such.
In part, this is to do with my willingness to go in and mess around with it. That is partly because I have written it so rapidly, and that is a good thing in this sense, as I am quite aware that it is going to need further work. As well, though, I think that writing it so quickly has allowed me to see it as a smaller thing, in some sense. Even with it still being, at present, more than 57,000 words, I feel it is short because it is a result of a small period of time. As well, this does mean that the start is fresher in my mind, so that adds to this sense as well.
This is something that I only recognized tonight, really, and it took me by surprise. I had expected it to take a lot longer to begin to have that sense of a new understanding in this way, and it is still not the entire sense that I had in mind, but the fact that I am this far along this rapidly is inspiring, and makes me glad to continue on this journey.
Towards that end, I have been thinking a lot about nanowrimo and what I want to do for that. I think I do like the idea I have, and I believe it will be very interesting to play with. Again, it is still in a more commercial vein than my first book, and I am still not certain about it in the specifics, but I do have a sense of a story, with a world that it takes place in. I can also see how it is actually going to be a deeper and darker book than I would have imagined it to be, but the idea for the antagonist that I have is too delicious not to use, and fits too well into the story.
In some ways, I feel that it could be a bit derivative as an idea, in some ways, really, but that changes as the work is written, of course. The general idea, at this moment, still isn't connected to any of the specific details of the character or even the narration. It is a vague idea at this point, and I actually think that works for me. As I get closer, it will become clearer, and then it will begin to really take shape with the writing itself. This process seems to me to be my own organic way of doing things, and is much what I did in terms of W/R, even.
I have spoken before about how I did organize that book, and I did, but the way it was organized was largely, I now see, a reflection of the sort of general understandings I need to do the work. In writing the current novel, I did have many ideas about it before I started writing, though they were not written down. In both cases, I found that I used those general thoughts and specific ideas in ways that were not really reflective of what I thought I would be doing, and I found that what I created was a better product as a result.
Now, some may argue that I cannot know how good these things might have been with a clearer outline, but for me, when I say I think they are better, that is based on my experiences during the process, and the qualities that this kind of organic process allows to flourish. For me, I am enthralled at the way that the many threads and breadcrumbs that are dropped throughout the book are all able to come back together. This is something that happens without any thought, with the right trust in the process, but it does result in books with particular qualities that not all readers will necessarily like, and not all writers appreciate.
Their are quirks of this kind of writing, of course, which tend to result in weirdness and in strange connections that are suggestive of a larger pattern at work. It has a looseness to it that may not be for all. But for me, at the moment, it feels like it is a process that I can embrace and keep utilizing.
I am writing all this, of course, as though I am some huge expert, and I don't think that is true at all. I am still worried greatly about the current project, but I also am proud of it as an accomplishment within itself, whatever it may become, and I recognize that my idea of it being bad may be very much better than I suspect. In many ways, it is all about what happens when I finish and let others read it. Which is another reason that I should call it a night and get to bed, in preparation of another busy day of writing tomorrow.
I actually did quite a lot of work, today, though some of it was earlier in the book, working to thread in a bit that I knew was needed. I am quite glad about the work that I have done, and I feel that the climax will determine a lot of what needs to be done in order to make the book work fully. I am also wondering at the effectiveness of certain things, but I am aware that much of that is down to linguistic specifics that I can deal with in rewriting.
One thing that I do want to say is that I feel very much that I have a different relationship to this book than I had with my previous novel. The issue is related to things I have said before, in which I talked about wanting to understand the book inside my own mind in a way. While I do not feel that, at least not entirely or in the sense that I mean, I do have a feeling of this as a thing that is made by my hands and with an understanding of it as such.
In part, this is to do with my willingness to go in and mess around with it. That is partly because I have written it so rapidly, and that is a good thing in this sense, as I am quite aware that it is going to need further work. As well, though, I think that writing it so quickly has allowed me to see it as a smaller thing, in some sense. Even with it still being, at present, more than 57,000 words, I feel it is short because it is a result of a small period of time. As well, this does mean that the start is fresher in my mind, so that adds to this sense as well.
This is something that I only recognized tonight, really, and it took me by surprise. I had expected it to take a lot longer to begin to have that sense of a new understanding in this way, and it is still not the entire sense that I had in mind, but the fact that I am this far along this rapidly is inspiring, and makes me glad to continue on this journey.
Towards that end, I have been thinking a lot about nanowrimo and what I want to do for that. I think I do like the idea I have, and I believe it will be very interesting to play with. Again, it is still in a more commercial vein than my first book, and I am still not certain about it in the specifics, but I do have a sense of a story, with a world that it takes place in. I can also see how it is actually going to be a deeper and darker book than I would have imagined it to be, but the idea for the antagonist that I have is too delicious not to use, and fits too well into the story.
In some ways, I feel that it could be a bit derivative as an idea, in some ways, really, but that changes as the work is written, of course. The general idea, at this moment, still isn't connected to any of the specific details of the character or even the narration. It is a vague idea at this point, and I actually think that works for me. As I get closer, it will become clearer, and then it will begin to really take shape with the writing itself. This process seems to me to be my own organic way of doing things, and is much what I did in terms of W/R, even.
I have spoken before about how I did organize that book, and I did, but the way it was organized was largely, I now see, a reflection of the sort of general understandings I need to do the work. In writing the current novel, I did have many ideas about it before I started writing, though they were not written down. In both cases, I found that I used those general thoughts and specific ideas in ways that were not really reflective of what I thought I would be doing, and I found that what I created was a better product as a result.
Now, some may argue that I cannot know how good these things might have been with a clearer outline, but for me, when I say I think they are better, that is based on my experiences during the process, and the qualities that this kind of organic process allows to flourish. For me, I am enthralled at the way that the many threads and breadcrumbs that are dropped throughout the book are all able to come back together. This is something that happens without any thought, with the right trust in the process, but it does result in books with particular qualities that not all readers will necessarily like, and not all writers appreciate.
Their are quirks of this kind of writing, of course, which tend to result in weirdness and in strange connections that are suggestive of a larger pattern at work. It has a looseness to it that may not be for all. But for me, at the moment, it feels like it is a process that I can embrace and keep utilizing.
I am writing all this, of course, as though I am some huge expert, and I don't think that is true at all. I am still worried greatly about the current project, but I also am proud of it as an accomplishment within itself, whatever it may become, and I recognize that my idea of it being bad may be very much better than I suspect. In many ways, it is all about what happens when I finish and let others read it. Which is another reason that I should call it a night and get to bed, in preparation of another busy day of writing tomorrow.
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