Poem: It goes too fast, maybe

It goes too fast, maybe

or I am not careful enough.
I don't want to be that way.
It is not as if I don't think
or make an effort.  I just fail.
Maybe that is worse?  
I do not know.  Is it better
if I am not trying?  
Is that more acceptable
than ineptitude.
It feels better, to be honest.
I would pretend
it was just a lack 
in my motivation
or an unwillingness
to try harder,
but I care enough
it hurts 
I can't do better.

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