Poetry: I Already Think This Is Futile

I Already Think This Is Futile

I should trust that it might work,
that maybe, with time
there will be an impact,
a change in things
that results from an accumulation.
It has only been two days
and I can't judge from that,
or shouldn't judge, I suppose
if I am being more accurate,
since it is clear that I am judging,
that my distrust has grown.
Really, I never trusted it,
not from the start.  It seems silly
and a wild, desperate, attempt,
not anything real or realistic.
I do not have much hope
but I am giving the effort.
Still, what happens
when it does nothing?
I am not alright
with there being no answer.
I can pretend to trust this for a bit,
can place my fears on hold a moment,
but I know it won't last,
and if there is nothing?
If this does not help,
what is next?  It can't be
going back to the way things were.
I can't accept that again,
not any longer.  I can't be stuck
with the only answers being
the ones that never work.

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