Poem: I did not know what to do

I did not know what to do

so I did nothing
and pretended that was enough,
even though I know it is only nothing
and that something is needed, is required.
Nothing is not useful here and I know that,
but it is all I had the strength for
after the rest.  I was trying and doing
and it was not nothing at all,
was something, was a thing that I was doing
and it was happening, and then
things changed and I knew they changed,
I knew it was not right or good
and that something would have to be done,
but what it was, that was unclear to me.
I could have done something
and it might have been the write thing,
it might have corrected it.  Really,
I know things I could have done
but they were too much for me,
would be doing it all again,
starting over as if nothing had been done at all,
as if iI had done nothing to start with,
and I was too tired for that.
I had done too much, too many things,
was not going to erase that,
and so I did nothing and pretended
that something hadn't gone wrong.