A Writer's Notebook, One-Thousand-Eight-Hundred-And-Ninety-Seven

It is just a bit over a week since the new year began and it already feels like this is going to be a difficult one.  I've already had a number of things happen that are really upsetting, and I am not dealing with it that well, to be honest.  The only thing that I am optimistic about in the moment is stuff with the house, though I know that I am kind of setting myself up for disappointment with that, in the end.  Right now, it is all just playing around with the possibilities.  The architect we are working with came by yesterday to discuss plans, and the idea for what might be possible is really great, but at the moment it is just a drawing and we don't have any idea of the budget that would be required for turning it into something real.  I am trying to be aware of that and not get myself too invested in one idea of how things could go.  In part, it is also a response to the fact that so many other things don't seem to be moving in a positive direction for me at the moment.  I am just focusing on something good and trying to make myself feel a bit of hope around that.  It is unlikely that we will get everything we are aiming for, but it is, at least, a possibility, and even if we have to scale back, I would rather do that then regret not having gone for it when there was a chance.

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