Poem: I was eager and excited

I was eager and excited

thought I was fortunate,
that it was a chance
to have what had been denied.
Things had gone so wrong
the last time.  I started
with no expectations,
was not planning
for any of this.
It seemed to be waiting,
until I reached out.
It was illusory.
I cannot help thinking
it was only there
to make certain
I realized
I am not allowed
whatever it is I want.

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