Poem: Will there be forgiveness?

Will there be forgiveness? 

I do not know
if it will be earned,
or if it will remain this way.
There is harm and damage and pain.
It is not a simple matter
to brush aside and live with,
but that is all that can be done.
If only it did not keep worsening,
new revelations and twists
that only turn the knife
and deepen the cut
already made.  Will it heal?
Can there be a way
for redemption?  I wish
I could let my heart open
but there is such danger.
I worry that you think I want this,
that this umbrage is a choice
but after what has happened
I realize I need to protect myself.
There is such a danger 
in letting go of this.

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