Poem: Cigarette

Cigarette

I have wanted to regress,
to go back again
to my old ways,
but I haven't,
even though I want to.
I understand it is not good,
that I am better off now,
that the change is one
I should think of
as positive,
but it is difficult,
is unpleasant, even,
to deny the desire.
I have been strong,
at least mostly.
I do not deny
that I have been imperfect,
but in general
I have done well,
have not let myself 
go back to those habits.
It is not easy,
but I know
it is what is best.
Also, I know
you would not be happy.
I do not think
I want to disappoint you
with my weakness.

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