A Writer's Notebook, Day One-Thousand-Six-Hundred-And-Eighty-Seven

I am feeling rather worn out tonight, and somewhat drained, emotionally.  Melissa and I tried to discuss some stuff around fixing our house, and it just stresses me out so much to even think about.  I am still very much attached to certain parts of our original vision for this house, and much of that is no longer possible because of just how bad a job was done by our original contractor.  Beyond that, it is going to cost us more than we originally planned because of all this, and we don't have any real faith that we will be able to recover any of the money we already spent, even though practically all of the work is going to need to be redone, and after all of that, the house will not actually be right.   I know that we have to deal with it, but even thinking about it just freezes me up with dread.  I need a way to proceed that doesn't feel like it is just going to make things worse, like it is going to be spending a lot of time and money and effort only to wind up trapped with a house that just reminds me of being screwed over.  

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