Poem: You Want An Effort to Be Made

You Want An Effort to Be Made

and I should be doing it,
I know that.  It should matter to me,
but the truth is
these things cannot be right,
cannot be made better enough
to make it worth the effort,
worth any of it.  I don't care that much.
All that can be done now
is marginal, is not enough
for it to feel right or be good.
Do you understand?
It is too hard.  It must be done
and it is too hard, and not worth it.
If I must do these things,
it cannot be for what this will yield.
It must be for what was wanted
before things turned this way,
when it was still good.
The things you did
have ruined too much.
Now, all that remains
is different forms of punishment
disguised as improvements.

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