Poem: What Was Thrown in Did Not Fill It Enough

What Was Thrown in Did Not Fill It Enough

it still feels empty, with all the want remaining,
though it was so much, seemed to be so much,
but all of that must have been not enough
or too much that wasn't substance, wasn't more
solid.  It must have been emptiness
in disguise.  Other days, it has seemed like less,
what went through seemed, but it was enough.
Is there an explanation for it?  Is there a way to know
when it will be this and when that, or is it best
just to wait and find out, to be prepared
for what might come.  I do not notice a pattern,
not tonight.  Maybe it is there, maybe 
I do not want to notice it, am worried 
it will force me to change things
I do not want to change, that I do not want
to need to change.  Still, it is no good,
this way is not any good at all.
I hope there is a way to make it better
that will not make the rest worse.

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