Poem: It Should Have Been Done Already

It Should Have Been Done Already

but I am not certain I am prepared
or that I want to face that.
It is a simple thing, I know,
or it should be, but it is not easy,
which makes sense, really,
since simple is never 
the same thing as easy,
but this is difficult in other ways,
has an unpleasant quality,
or that is how I find it.
I don't like it, do not want to do it,
and I know there is preparation done,
that others have made efforts
to make it easier for me,
but I don't find it that way.
I do not think they understand.
I do not think they are able to do it right.
If it could be done by someone else,
if I trusted them to do it,
I would be in a different situation.
The way things are right now,
I do not have that
and it will not be that way,
though it is what was called for,
was most important.  It is this way now
and I am living with it.
That is what I am able to do,
is the way it always seems to be.
Even the things they call solutions
do not seem to be helping,
not when help is measured
in the ways that matter to me.

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