Poem: I Want to Trust You

I Want to Trust You

when you say what is so,
want to believe it,
want to think you mean it
and did not make that promise
just to silence me.  I want to believe
you will do as you say
that you intend to, and more,
that you would not say it
if you were not able to do it,
were not capable.  Always,
I am promised things,
it has always been
the way I was brushed aside.
So many times, my needs
were pushed aside
with a promise 
as remuneration,
which is fine, I think,
if the promise is kept,
but it never is.  Maybe
I am forgetting something,
maybe it is kept at times,
but so often it is not.
And you have made
so many promises
in recent times
and most, already
you have broken them.
I want to trust you.
You will say
it could not be done,
will not even be sorry.
You will say
it cannot be changed now.
You will want forgiveness,
and expect me to accept it all.
That is what happens.
I do not know what to say.
I do not like it.  Why would I?
What am I supposed to do?
There is not any real answer, I know,
but it would be good
if I felt I could ask anyway.

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