A Writer's Notebook, Day One-Thousand-Three-Hundred-And-Five

I have been feeling really down the past week or two.  I am certain that much of it is not being able to spend time with Melissa, but I know there are other things bothering me right now, as well, specific issues with things that have been going on in my family.  I don't know that I want to write it all out, but it is bothering me a great deal.  A lot of it is the way my mother and brother act, not only in terms of their actions towards me, but the way that they function as a team in a way that is very explicit and exclusionary.  My brother will deny this entirely, though he plays into it and benefits from it all the time, and behaves as if it is just the normal way of things.  My mother is very clear about it, to be honest, and he has even heard her say, essentially, that they are a team and I am not included, and still denies that this is the case.  It is especially hurtful when they seem to team up on me, when it seems as if my brother is reprimanding me like he is another parent, working in tandem with her.  I can't take it, especially since i know, if I mention it, he will deny that it even happens.

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