Poem: When You Asked

When You Asked

I was hesitant.  I am always hesitant.
I do not trust people, not this way,
and I do not trust myself, either,
do not feel I can do the task
that would be required,
cannot reciprocate in kind
in a way that works.
I worry.  I worry you 
will not understand me
and I will not understand you.
I was willing, though, for some reason,
was willing to take a bit of risk,
but now, I do not know.
I am certain you think
what you have asked for
is not different, is the same,
but it is not that way for me.
I do not want to explain this,
do not want to need to explain this.
There is a difference you do not know,
or that I have imagined into my reality,
or is it, really, that I still have no trust,
am looking for excuses to run.  
I do not know.  I must try
to explain this to you,
but I am afraid.
That I need to explain
makes me afraid.

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