A Writer's Notebook, Day One-Thousand-One-Hundred-And-Fifty-Nine

Tomorrow, which begins in about half an hour, is my birthday.  I am not all that enthused, if we are to be blunt about it, but I want to be.  A part of me still holds out for the hope of it being a good day, being fun and surprising, but I am also not wanting to expect much.  In truth, it is more just the sense that my feelings around my family are rather bruised at the moment, and I am feeling quite out of sorts about other aspects of my living situation at the moment.  The one thing I am glad about is having Melissa here, and that is the best thing of all.  I need to let her know this, and to make sure she understands.  I know I have been venting a lot of my feelings towards her, because I don't feel empowered to express them to the relevant parties, and I need to find a way to release more of these things in ways that don't burden her.  If I can make things better for Melissa, that will be a thing that brings me joy, even more than anything I could receive for myself.  I must strive for it, of course, must be willing to commit and make the effort.

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