A Writer's Notebook, Day Nine-Hundred-And-Eleven

 I am feeling very stressed and emotionally drained right now.  Much of this is personal stuff that I don't want to discuss here, beyond saying that I am feeling very low.  This also adds to my feelings about the stagnation I am finding with my publishing efforts and profession progress in general.  I feel that a shift in terms of my writing career would also be helpful in terms of creating other changes in my life, not because of any true material change, but because of the shift it would represent for me in my own experience.   The sense of being stuck I have spoken of is not only about my sense that I cannot get anywhere with my writing, but also is reflected in other aspects of my life, and I have found that my efforts at making a shift meets the same kind of obstacles, where my actions are not enough to cause any change.  I know I need to do something, to alter things, but I feel powerless, and all my efforts seem to only be evidence of the extent of that futility.  It is not enough to think about it differently.  I am scared of things remaining this way, especially of what I would become if I became a person who could accept things as they are.

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