Writer's Notebook, Day Seven-Hundred-And-Eighty-Five

 I have had a lot of very upsetting events in recent days, and things are really quite strange for me in so many ways at the moment, but I am attempting to be hopeful as much as I can.  I'm working hard, still, even if I can't seem to get the traction I am hoping for, and I am attempting to be smarter about things in my personal life and choices as well.  It is not clear to me that anything is going to change, and that is quite upsetting in terms of many things happening now, is the way things are on every level from personal to national and beyond, and facing that is truly daunting.  I keep seeing how things are in my own life and the way it is a repetition of larger patterns, of how my experiences are representative of a smaller version of the same problems that exist at a larger scale, and I am not certain how to deal with that, or even how to express it accurately.  In the end, I have to do what I must to keep going, and to care for myself and those I love, though what that means and requires is not always clear or constant.

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