Poem: I Have A Question

I Have A Question

I do not want to ask,
not you, not at all,
because I do not know
if you will care
or be sympathetic
to me, and I,
I shelled but
shelled like an egg,
am shelled to be strong
in this way, but
it is a brittle power
that can shatter,
and if I ask
you may answer
with the force
of a hammer
or might cast me
towards the wall,
the floor, the ceiling,
across the sky itself.
The answer you hold
may be the truth
or it may not be 
the truth, but 
it may be too much
if what you say
is not at all
an answer I need
or can take,
if it leaves me
as lost as one
who has no answer
or tells me 
what I believe
is all wrong,
is lies, or
that their is nothing
but what I know already
and I cannot learn
anything better,
despite the failings
that my knowledge allows
or, maybe, provides,
or you may just
be mean because
you can choose that
and it happens
that people do,
and I want an answer,
but only one
that I want to hear,
not any other type,
just a good one
that lets me know
I am right, otherwise
why am I asking you at all.