A Writer's Notebook, Day Seven-Hundred-And-Thirty

 It is difficult to keep motivated at the moment.  In some ways, it is an act of resistance in the face of the consistent rejections I am receiving, but it also can feel like a waste, like throwing more energy in on something that is not working.  I feel like it is dumb of me to keep doing the same things and expecting anything to change, and that includes the writing itself, at times.  Today, I did my work, but it was not with any level of excitement, and I didn't have a sense of accomplishing anything.  It is not to say that the work itself was not, while I was engaged, interesting and absorbing, but it was not easy to get started and after, any spark of creative fulfillment faded rapidly.  I know I need to make a change, that I cannot just keep doing this and waiting.  I only wish I could figure out what I can do, because I do not know any options besides what I am doing now and quitting, and if feeling that I am failing is bad, quitting and accepting that as reality would be far worse.

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