A Writer's Notebook, Day Seven-Hundred-And-Twenty-Six

 I am continuing to get work done early, and am eager to start increasing the output again, if I can continue this spree tomorrow.  In some way, it feels that beginning to do more work might help cement the habit, somewhat, as if taking a next step will require the first to remain solid.   In terms of the work that I did today, I do feel that my poetry is in an interesting place right now.  I find it hard, at the moment, to feel all that enthused about the writing itself, especially having received another rejection today.  I need to figure out what to do about this, and I am not doing well at maintaining any sort of mental balance with it, if I am honest.  I feel quite hopeless, though I do continue, but it is not at all healthy for me, and any efforts I make to alter my perspective come up to the hard wall of the reality that I won't feel better without taking some step to change things for the better.  I've attempted to put a different perspective on it, but that is not helpful for me, as it ends up with my feeling that I am just pretending to myself, lying that things are better than they are because I do not want to face the reality of the situation.  Unless I find a way to start making real progress with my publishing care, I do not know what will alter this, and the situation I am in is one that feels utterly outside my control in a way that indicates it will not change at all unless I do something.  I have no idea what to do or even who to ask for help, and everyone I speak with offers nothing that is practical or helpful.  It just feels impossible right now, but I am still writing each day, so I am at least still going, though that does not feel that it is of much value at the moment, if I am honest.