A Writer's Notebook, Day Five-Hundred-And-Twenty-Eight
I am feeling the desire, once again, to ramp up in terms of the amount I am writing. It is a feeling that I need to press through whatever is currently happening and get myself back into my old patterns. In part, it is a feeling that I am slacking off, which I know many would think is ridiculous, considering it still involves writing a number of new poems daily (four or so, I think, but I didn't really keep count today), but I have become accustomed to my working schedule, to the amount of work I press from myself. A teacher of mine once described the way Thomas Mann would treat his writing as a profession, waking each morning and going to his office in a suit and tie to sit down and write, with a break for lunch. It is a way to regiment and control the chaos of creativity, and I admire it, though I do not know that I would go that extreme, exactly. I think, also, of Trollope, who trained himself to write a certain number of words per a minute, pumping out his works at a rapid pace. Again, I think there is something that I find honorable, even desirable, in this kind of dedicated, disciplined approach. For me, I think it also is partly the desire to stave off another period of lethargy. I feel that I wasted much time, and I want to do as much as I can now, without falling backwards.
There was a hesitancy that I felt about the idea that writing so much was diluting my work, but I think this is not the case. I do not mean that all the work is great, or even most of it, but I do believe that writing more is the best way to learn, to improve, and that each poem teaches me more about my craft: even if it is not a poem that will ultimately succeed, I am learning and improving. Thus, when I do write a poem of value, it tends to be better than what I might have come up with previously. And, I have to believe that even my worst poems are better than they were before. I do not think that it is realistic, but I do still aim for a time when even my least pieces achieve a certain degree of excellence.
In the end, I think it is my own pace, really. I think I have a certain tendency towards prolixity that is just natural. I have had many periods of creativity when I wrote a great deal, but it was always in spurts. Now, I am at the point where I can harness and maintain this energy. By disciplining myself to work daily, I've gotten beyond old stumbling blocks, and I have found myself capable of incredible, sustained, output. By writing more, I am allowing myself to follow those preexisting inclinations.
There was a hesitancy that I felt about the idea that writing so much was diluting my work, but I think this is not the case. I do not mean that all the work is great, or even most of it, but I do believe that writing more is the best way to learn, to improve, and that each poem teaches me more about my craft: even if it is not a poem that will ultimately succeed, I am learning and improving. Thus, when I do write a poem of value, it tends to be better than what I might have come up with previously. And, I have to believe that even my worst poems are better than they were before. I do not think that it is realistic, but I do still aim for a time when even my least pieces achieve a certain degree of excellence.
In the end, I think it is my own pace, really. I think I have a certain tendency towards prolixity that is just natural. I have had many periods of creativity when I wrote a great deal, but it was always in spurts. Now, I am at the point where I can harness and maintain this energy. By disciplining myself to work daily, I've gotten beyond old stumbling blocks, and I have found myself capable of incredible, sustained, output. By writing more, I am allowing myself to follow those preexisting inclinations.
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