Poem: Tacky Neighbors
Tacky Neighbors
The houses on that block are all
monstrosities, terrors of design,
each one painted conflicting colors
the more garish the better, with
awful lawn ornaments, gawdy things,
too big and badly made, look at that
oversize lawn flamingo covered
in drips of dried paint, shaped
as if based on a drunks drawing
instead of any actual draft.
It is not an accident these
hideous places are here together,
I am told, at least, am told
they all are in a war
to see who can make the most
ostentatious home, the one
that will drive the neighbors
too madness, but it has not
happened, they all hang in,
just up the ante with new additions.
That is why their is always
something new being installed,
a plaid gazebo, a weather vane
topper that looks like Hulk
Hogan, a ten foot sculpture
of a chicken with neon eyes. I
do not know if it is a game or
a war, but I am sure the philosophy
they all hold: at least if you live
in the ugliest house on the block
you'll never see it
through your own window.
The houses on that block are all
monstrosities, terrors of design,
each one painted conflicting colors
the more garish the better, with
awful lawn ornaments, gawdy things,
too big and badly made, look at that
oversize lawn flamingo covered
in drips of dried paint, shaped
as if based on a drunks drawing
instead of any actual draft.
It is not an accident these
hideous places are here together,
I am told, at least, am told
they all are in a war
to see who can make the most
ostentatious home, the one
that will drive the neighbors
too madness, but it has not
happened, they all hang in,
just up the ante with new additions.
That is why their is always
something new being installed,
a plaid gazebo, a weather vane
topper that looks like Hulk
Hogan, a ten foot sculpture
of a chicken with neon eyes. I
do not know if it is a game or
a war, but I am sure the philosophy
they all hold: at least if you live
in the ugliest house on the block
you'll never see it
through your own window.
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