A Slow Morning of Writing

This morning, at around 8 am, I decided to get to work.  I convinced myself that starting the day by getting work done would be a good thing, and would set me off on a positive foot.  While I still feel that is true, largely, I am rather disappointed that, having worked for about an hour, I only produced around 800 words, which is rather slow for me. 

So, I am considering why it is that I am feeling rather slow at the moment.  I had ideas of where to go in the book (even more at this point), and I am recognizing that there will be things that are bound to open up in response.  I feel close to figuring my way through so that I can actually do the rest of the work, but at this moment, I am still connecting all of the pieces.  In some ways, the changes that are coming in the book are a bit odd, to me, as they might alter aspects of the book's trajectory, but I am recognizing they bring certain possibilities to the book as well.

It is a far more condensed book, in terms of time, as I had expected it to be a far longer journey, but things are connecting together in a way that is starting to make a certain amount of sense to me.  I can see what is happening beginning to thread together, and there are connections building that make a certain sense.  I need to  allow the book to unfold, and I think that it may be close to the point where it will do so.

This morning, I had a great deal of difficulty in terms of specific mechanics, and in terms of understanding the scene I was writing.  As stated before, scenes and action in this book have been serving as a background, in a way, but it is shifting a bit, as things continue.  That seems natural, though I expect that I am not as aware of just how much inner thought is being expressed, or even what all of it is communicating on a deeper level.  That is to say, I have a sense of the character that is allowing me a certain leeway in terms of my need to control all the layers of meaning, as I trust that they will reflect a certain kind of thinking.

I need to be focusing, in my conscious at least, on the current concerns that the character has and expresses, but those are clearly superficial and will be largely covers for less directly communicated motives and emotions.  Those secondary layers often arise, for me, from investing in the mind of the character, as that mind has those layers within it as well.  Unexpressed, suppressed emotions have to come through the character, or they won't come across as genuine.  As such, it is not that aspect of things that I need to concentrate on in terms of the individual lines.  In some cases, revision may be needed to hone what is present, of course, but the point is that the character's intent has to be primary in my mind, and that means the subtext is going to arise without my conscious intent.  

On a larger scale, of course, I need to consider that question deeply.  I have to have, even before writing, a concept of the very aspects of the character that are not going to be expressed.  In this case, that is fairly easy to consider, really, since it is largely about the psychic and emotional journey of the character.  These larger issues are already at play in my mind, whatever may happen, so I know that working my way through the book, they will be there, even when I don't always consider how they will appear.

However, I do recognize issues that are slowing my thinking down.  For one thing, I know this book is much more grounded in reality than I generally write.  That is not a bad thing, but it is a very different kind of muscle, and requires a new way of thinking.  The book itself is still pushing new ground for me in terms of how it works, and the narrative voice, but those aspects are not so difficult to manage at this point.

I also recognize that the voice I am using has the chance to change at any point, if I wish.  If there comes a moment for it, the book can collapse into the new shifted perspective without much difficulty.  Indeed, one aspect of why I am using the voice is because I expect a shift at the very end, probably in the last sentence or so.  However, it is also possible to have it come out in different ways at moments.  There has already been a little of that in some of the book, but done in a way that is subtle and only I would probably see it.  In fact, I was thinking of removing it, but it may be that I do something else instead, as I have an idea of how to play with the concept within the book, in a way that will still maintain my intent and not break the voice.

So, ultimately, I feel that I am on the edge of something.  I've had many thoughts about specifics that have come into my mind as I've written this (which is largely why I am doing it), and I have a much stronger sense of the way that the book is coming together right at this moment.  It feels like it may be another day that starts slow but ends big, or maybe not, but in either case, I do feel far more on target than I had when I finished this morning.