A Writer's Notebook, Day Forty

I am in a strange space right now, as far as my writing goes.  For one thing, I have to acknowledge that I am doing far more work than I had in a long while, especially if I include the writing I am doing on this blog.  On the other hand, I also recognize that I am not producing the work that I want to be producing, at least not with the kind of regularity that I would like.  It seems to me that, if  I can get the work I am doing on this blog done, I can also get other writing done, it is merely a matter of making it happen.

Part of the advantage I have writing on this blog is the public nature of it, which keeps me accountable.  Knowing that a reader could be waiting for my next post, and recognizing that I have stated to the world that I am going to post daily are powerful motivators.  So, I need to start doing something more.  I think that I should start pushing my daily word count, forcing myself to get it done.  There is an argument about the idea of using word count in this way, but I am not suggesting this as an overall idea, but am recognizing that I need that for myself.  I am motivated by that pressure, it is merely a matter of making sure that I keep at it.

So, tomorrow I am going to begin to take steps in that direction.  I am going to just start a new story in the morning, without any plan, and will just get going.  I'll set a timer and just go for twenty minutes.  I plan to include the word count in my post tomorrow, as well.  By posting that daily word count, I can put that commitment and consistency to work again.  I mean, I added this writer's journal over a month ago and I expected to be done with multiple stories by now.  I've been letting myself slack off on that work, if I am brutally honest, because I knew that it was most important to begin by getting myself to do the writing each day, but now that I am at that point, well, it is time to take it to the next level by forcing myself to make that daily practice actually productive.  The habit of doing it daily is a platform, and now I can begin to build upon it.

The real point of forcing myself to sit and do the work this way is to force myself to just go for it.  I know that when I am under pressure, I can get the work done.  In classes, whenever I am given a writing prompt, I always get someplace with it, so I can definitely do this on demand.  The problem is doing it on my own, without the pressure to perform being supplied by the environment.  It is taking the steps to gain control over my writing, so that I am able to produce work at the rate that I would like to.  

It may take me time to get from just writing out random scenes, but I am sure that I will get something of value out of this, even if only as a practice.  Focusing on getting the work done is more important than worrying about how good it is.  First, if I write nothing, it will always be worse.  That is not to say that I can't write something that is awful, but instead is about focusing upon what I can control.  I can't predict if a thing I am writing will be good or not, but I can control the way that I approach the writing, and I can recognize that doing the work of writing each day is a major step towards being a better writer in general.  Not only in the sense that it will help me achieve my goal in terms of quantity, but also, and perhaps more importantly, because each piece I write teaches me to write better.  That is the nature of any practice: dedicating time is the best way to improve.  

As well, I believe that being in the situation of saying that I must write, where I will not let myself just sit around and stare at a blank page and write constantly, I will be forced to trust myself.  Yesterdays post was largely about the need to trust my own unconscious processes more, and to get my own conscious thoughts out of the way a lot more often when actually writing.  By just going for it and saying that I have to keep at it, I will have to just write without thinking about it.  The condition won't allow me to muck about, because I have to be focused on just keeping up with the work itself.  

I'm not beginning with a specific word count, though the goal is to get to one, but instead with the idea that I am going to spend a certain set amount of time on task, and that I cannot, during that time, stop writing.  I am sure that their are actually software programs that will help with this.  Specifically, I know of at least one program that keeps a timer and if you stop writing for a few seconds, it erases what you have written, so stopping will destroy the work.  That's clever, and I might try it at some point, but I would rather not rely on a gimmick like that.  I thought about trying the technique used by Anthony Trollope, which relies upon setting a pace for word count.  Trollope aimed at 250 words in 15 minutes.  I think that this may well be a useful tactic, but I want to begin tomorrow by simply setting out to write under new conditions, and with a different focus.  While I do want to get to the point of having the ability to set a word count of this sort, I don't want to make myself crazy, or make it so difficult I don't follow through each day.  If my initial approach is not successful, I can alter the tactic.  Indeed, that is what I am doing already.

I have been writing, each day, which was the first real goal that I had when I started this journal, and now I am revising the approach that I have been following to go further.  I am certain that by altering my approach tomorrow, I will get an outcome that propels me towards my goal, but I also recognize that it is a small step.  The small steps, though, allow for big changes to happen without it becoming overwhelming.  Thus, while I recognize that I may need to incorporate a more strenuous and extreme regiment than I am proposing taking up immediately, I am choosing the path that I believe I am prepared to follow, knowing that it will train me to be able to do even more.  That is what writing this journal and the daily work it reflects have done.  If I had said to myself at the start, one hour daily, as opposed to just making the commitment to doing some writing each day, I don't know that I would have kept up the way I have.  But now, I am ready, even eager, to push myself to the next step, and I must have faith that will be true again, as  I begin taking further action towards my goals.  Keeping the individual changes so small makes it more manageable, and keeps me from having an excuse for not getting work done.  That is why I am aiming at only twenty minutes tomorrow.  It's a small enough amount of time that I know I can do it.  Then, once that is easy, I can begin increasing the amount of time, getting to a minimum of an hour a day in a short time.  

The point is that I know I need to take the next steps, and I am ready for them.  By making the changes easy, it becomes a simple matter to keep things going, and it becomes a natural and normal habit, integrated into my daily routine.  Writing is work, and I am training myself for that part of things.  An athlete may have the coordination, the knowledge, and the skill to be a great player, but they still need to get into physical shape to compete effectively.  The same is true for a writer: having the skills and knowledge does not mean having the discipline and stamina.  Which is what training is for.