A Writer's Notebook: Day ten

I am going to keep this unusually short, as it has been an awful day.  A piece of personal memorabilia that can't be replaced was damaged at some point and this was hidden from me.  The person who hid that fact did not actually take any responsibility and only apologized for not telling me sooner, without recognizing that they had deeply hurt me through the dishonesty of not informing me, let alone that I am certain that they are actually guilty (the story they offered for what happened seems implausible at best).  This individual then went on to act as if I should treat them like they had done nothing wrong, and does not seem to understand that the damaged item is very significant.  Indeed, the item is one of a small handful that remain from a large collection I had of figurines given to me throughout my childhood by family members and close friends.  A number of years ago, I lost most of that collection, so the few that remain are extremely important to me, and I have been in a horrible state all day.  On top of that, I tried to go out to eat with my fiance after she got home, but I failed to actually have dinner.  We went to a place that we have both liked in the past, one that has been around for several years, but we found that the menu had changed extensively.  The item that I had planned to get had  been altered in a way that made it unappealing, and none of the selections I would previously have enjoyed were available.  I tried something, but it was awful and I only ate three bites.

As a result of all that, I am sitting here, rather miserable, wanting to cry, and hungry, but with nothing that I actually want to eat available.  I really wanted to just sink into a hole tonight, to not deal with any of it, but I still wrote.  I didn't do as much as I had hoped.  My plan had been to get work done earlier in the day, but I couldn't get myself to think about it even.

I am just really glad to be able to say that even when things go to shit like this, I can still live up to the commitment of getting some work done.  It still seems important to me that I go further, and push myself to do more work even on a day like today, but I need to recognize as well how much of a difference their is when I am doing writing daily, even on the bad days.  On a day like this, a little victory of that sort may be the best thing that can happen.

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