Would That I Might

Another evening writing session.  I am finding it hard to get into a morning rhythm with things as they are right now.  It has been a bit strange getting used to my Mother's new apartment, which I expected.  It was never going to be an easy adjustment, but knowing it was going to be difficult hasn't made it that much easier.

It does not work and cannot be made  any better.  There is nothing to help that, not any longer. I know that. This is how things are. I know it,  just as I know that isn't alright. I can't be fine with it this way. There is no solution.

It's the first full day in New York and I am struggling with things.  I don't really feel like getting into all the details because a lot of it is just me needing to adjust to things, though there are aspects of the situation that I feel are more difficult than just accepting the changes.  I am doing my best to take care of myself, but it has been a challenge.

How were the brownies? I want to know, not just to be told they were good, that I did well, though I hope so, would be glad of that were the answer, But do not worry or feel obligated to say kind things: if they were terrible I want to be told. It was a new recipe and I did not try one, had no chance to. I want to know how they were: it is a recipe I had never tried before.

As we have been travelling, I have taken to writing in the evening again.  It is largely just practical in terms of having the time and focus.  Now we have landed in NYC for a few days, so maybe I will be able to coax myself back into a morning routine.  I do want to switch back more permanently when I arrive home again, but on the road it can be more difficult 

It is this now We are here, will be here, not too long but long enough it might feel too long. It is fine, I will say and want to believe.

Melissa and I are in Richmond for the night.  The drive was pretty uneventful, though we had a bit of a mixup with our hotel reservation.   Fortunately it all worked out in the end, but there was a point when that felt rather unlikely.