Would That I Might

Melissa and I made it to Richmond.  I actually wound up doing all the driving today, though that was not planned.  I was intending to pull over and switch when we were about halfway, but we were on an express lane for the highway at that point, and there were no rest areas and few exits, so I just kept going.  It was fine, mostly.  Really, it was only towards the end of the drive that the fatigue was getting to me.  Still, it will be best if we split the drive going forward.

You did not tell me what to do You just walked away without any thought about it.  I did not know what was expected and did what I knew to do, which you knew was not right, but you said nothing, let me fall into the trap. You will say it was nothing, that you did not think about it and so it should not matter, that you did nothing wrong, because you did nothing. You refuse to consider that you might have obligations that require thought and action.

 Melissa and I are leaving tomorrow.  We still intend to drive to Richmond, but we couldn't get a room at the hotel we have been going to, so it is going to be a bit different in general.  We also still have a lot to do here before we go, with packing and such.   Honestly, it has me a bit overwhelmed right now.

The one thing matters that is all, not the rest.  It will be fine of there are other things that are not, that are missing. I know it will not be as I wish in many regards. I am attempting to be flexible, but I have a limit, as far as that goes. I am pre-registrating my potential complaint so I can feel worse if it is accurate.

I have a new piece of fiction that I need to work on.   I made a promise to do it and intend to keep that promise, but it has been difficult to begin.  Maybe I need to wait until I am back in Florida next week.  Melissa and I should arrive on Wednesday, if we follow our current plan.

There is much that must be different and I must not be indifferent, must show deference to the difference, must be different and do the different things that are needed, that must be done. I should know that.  I should not need all this to be just that bit better. Tomorrow, I know.  I did what I did today, but there is a different need tomorrow.

Last night I finished writing my monthly newsletter.  I am finding that I often need to trust in instinct about how to communicate the emotions I intend, and that thjs often requires leaving the material raw.  It is about not over refining, but also about being vulnerable in new ways and trusting myself and my audience.