Would That I Might

I am not going to put up a full entry today, but I wanted to welcome in 2019 with the hope that it will be an amazing year.  It is quite exciting that the first rehearsal for the staged reading of my play is tomorrow afternoon, and it feels like a very positive way to start off the year.  I hope everyone reading this is having a great New Year's Eve and will be back tomorrow to report on the rehearsal. 

One thing which I believe should not need to be said, but which I keep finding is apparently not recognized by many writers, is that just because something works in writing, it does not mean that it is the only possible way.  In many cases, writers will offer advice in such absolute terms, and I think this is very limiting to how craft is considered.  It is one thing to think of a certain path as valid, to acknowledge it as worth exploring or helpful in certain kinds of work, but it is another to, once finding a certain technique will work, close off the mind to potentials as yet unexplored. The traditional wisdom about writing talks of the needs of characters, about plot structures, and about many other elements of story which are indeed valid and useful to understand.  I would say, even, that it is often only possible to get past such ideas by knowing how they work intimately.  But it is foolish to create absolutes where they don't exist. I have talked about is...

I am having difficulty being productive these days.  I don't really want to get into a new project of any real substance until after the reading next week.  It seems worth-while to keep my energy focused in that direction, and so I am somewhat hesitant about getting serious about another project at this point.  There is something more, though, or I think there may be.  In part it is my current hesitancy to write a poem.  I am just not entering that mind space at this moment, somehow, and I cannot seem to get myself there.  In some ways, I am not even sure where that place is any longer, but I know I can get back there again.  I have felt this before, and have gotten through it then.  The thing is that I want to get through it now without the kind of guidance and support that I often had before in such circumstances. I want to get a few pieces written, though, in preparation for the class I'll be attending next month, so i am going to get mysel...

Today was not a particularly productive day for my writing, though I did get a lot of thinking done in terms of certain ideas relating to the story concept that I have been exploring.  For one thing, I have come to understand certain aspects of it as a whole, and have begun to see how it can be told.  The issue is that much of the story is about layers of belief that need to unfold and reveal deeper, previously hidden, truths, and that in order to construct this, I need an understanding of the world in the story that is beneath and beyond what is to be revealed.  As well, I need to be able to put those layers on and see how they can be removed. The goal is really to create something that has a certain structure that will resonate with the thematic concepts, to create a certain kind of experience for the reader.  In this case, my goal is largely to construct a set of beliefs that are strange and unreal, but somehow compelling and with a ring to them that feels true....

I finished editing on the script for my play, and handed in the version that will be used at rehearsal.  The new draft is short around 600 words, which still means it is running long, but I think I can find more of the edits through the rehearsal process, a belief that was endorsed when I turned in the current version.  In some ways, the process of editing has been more difficult than the actual writing.  Of course, it is a different difficulty, as the process of composition is quite different from that involved in editing, particularly in terms of cutting.  The thing is that all the material is in the play, and I don't wish to lose that, so it comes down to making small trims here and there, but doing so in a way that doesn't eliminate the voice or lessen other aspects of the plays impact.  That process is one that requires tuning in to the work in a very specific way, and is not the same as connecting with it when creating.  For one thing, it is a far...

So, after taking a bit of a break from it, I am at the point where my script is due and I must get it into shape.  I've done several passes, on paper, reading it over and marking some things that can go, but I need to do the final version, and to fix that ending.  I think the main issue for me, mentally, in terms of getting the work done, is largely my own confidence that I can do it without needing another pair of eyes, but I need to realize that I will have those eyes eventually, and that I will be able to make further changes.  I want this to be a script that feels close to done for me, though, and I think I am at that point, it is just making those final changes. I am going to keep this short again, though I will offer a full report on the work tomorrow.  I've not been sleeping well, and getting to bed early seems a wise choice, so I am cutting this short to turn in.

So. as mentioned in the past several days, I have been working on a gift, which is a short picture book that I wrote and illustrated for Melissa.  With her permission, I am sharing it here in lieu of my usual entry. It is embedded below as a PDF, which I have not tried before, but I think it is pretty self-explanatory.  Anyhow, I hope you enjoy it:

It is Christmas Eve, and I am going to make this a quick check in.  Though I am Jewish, Melissa is Greek Orthodox and so I am celebrating with her.  I have her gift ready, finally, and am excited to give it to her.  The truth is, she wanted me to come to bed early, like an hour ago, but I was working on her gift in my office, making the final touches, and so I don't have the time for more on the blog tonight.  Things should begin getting back to normal soon, and I have work to get done after Christmas.

The project that I have been assembling for my fiance is pretty much done.  I will have a bit more work to do in order to make assemble it, but the rest is completed already.  I think it will be something that she appreciates in the spirit that it comes from.  If I am wrong about that, well, it will suck, but I think that the care I have put into it shows. Well, even in my personal life, my mind tends towards this kind of peripatetic uncertainty.  I suppose it is a natural part of who I am, that I should accept it in some way and learn to be at peace even with those things popping off in the back of my mind.  Maybe I will get to that at some point... At one point today, my brother came by to help with a few things, and in the process looked at a piece I am writing that is not particularly nice to him.  It is something that I wrote largely to just vent how I was feeling, and at a point when I was rather upset about a number of things that had occurred....

I took a few days break, at the moment, from the play.  First, I need to look at it with somewhat fresher eyes, and I know that taking a bit of time off will help, and I am wanting to focus on preparing for Christmas with my fiance.  Though I am Jewish, her love for the holiday makes it something special that I am glad to share in, despite it feeling a bit awkward to me, if I am honest.  Most of the work I did today was actually for a project I am keeping secret for her as a surprise.  I think that, if I can do what I am planning, it will be really great, and I am very excited at the work I've accomplished so far.  For obvious reasons, I don't want to get into the specifics, but it is something that I think will make her smile, and that is really the point. Anyhow, I am focusing on that project, and while I don't wish to get into specifics, I will say that I am doing something quite different than my usual work which comes from a different angle.  It is...

In many ways, I've had several rather frustrating days, and my birthday, yesterday, was somewhat marred, but I don't wish to get into that.  At present, the bane of my existence is my printer.  Honestly, it is a stalwart, having been with me for probably a decade at this point, and having not been close to new at that time.  However, this evening I attempted to print a copy of one of my books and found that it was incapable of getting through the job.  After it had printed sixty or so pages it jammed every few minutes.  Eventually it would not print at all.  It is a very good laser printer, but it does not seem to be working any longer, and I am rather upset, as I don't really wish to replace it, as I likely won't find anything equivalent that I can afford.  In any case, I think I need to get a new printer. Work today was rather short, as I spent much of the day attempting to clear my head from certain negative experiences which I had in the precedin...

One idea which I have encountered many times, in many different forms, and which, honestly, I find rather upsetting, especially knowing it to be so widespread, is the concept that originality is not truly possible in a world as saturated with creative output as our own.  While there are forms of this that exist in every medium, those in the writing world are, for obvious reasons, those that I most often encounter.  In some cases, these are rather straightforward statements, with a writer saying, perhaps, that every story has already been told, that it is impossible to craft something unprecedented. Now, I tend to see that as a very limiting perspective and a self-fulfilling prophecy, and I can easily explain the illogical nature of this, with a simple example of what I mean.  One of the subtler forms of this belief comes up often when a writer makes a grand pronouncement about how to write well.  For example, they might tell you that all successful plots follow a ...

I am planning to keep this rather short, as I really didn't do any major work today.  As mentioned last night, tomorrow is my birthday, and I spent much of the day getting prepared for a short vacation with my family to celebrate.  Currently, I am at the hotel, and we are getting ready for a busy day tomorrow, so I am hoping to get to bed on the early side, if I can. I printed out a copy of the script for my play and began reading it a bit this morning, without any notes, so that I can get a feel for how it is reading.  Tomorrow, I will begin to do cuts on paper, if I have time.  I might not, but I think taking a few days off for my birthday is a reasonable thing.  Anyhow, as mentioned, I just wanted to stop in, to keep the momentum if nothing else.  If I do get time to work tomorrow, I will  try to make a fuller entry.

I spent a long period today working on my query letters.  I feel that I have a good basic letter at the moment, though it probably requires a few changes and may need a bit of added content that I didn't consider initially.  The general version, that I have drafted at the moment, is a basic frame and I am intending to include within it some personalized content for each agent.  Towards that end, I have begun the research on them, though it is not yet complete.  Some I have a stronger sense of than others, and there is at least one whom I am a bit skeptical of as a choice, at the moment, due to a particular comment I read in which she spoke about her need for a strong plot, which is not the focus of W/R as a whole.  Of course, that is only one snapshot, and I need to explore more deeply to really know who they are. I have a bit of a head start in terms of some.  One is an individual whom I had researched already, as she is well known in the industry and wa...

I usually post these later, but I am expecting that this evening is going to be dedicated to research at most.  I've had a very positive day and want to offer a bit of a report and a debrief of things after my discussion today with the agent that I mentioned previously.  I feel incredibly encouraged after our interaction and far more prepared for the next steps. The first thing that I really want to mention and which I feel very proud of is that she actually read the whole of the manuscript.  Now, this may sound silly to those who are not familiar, but publishing professionals are generally quite busy and don't read a book all the way through if they don't feel it is something that they might wish to take on.  Now, I tend to think that reading my book, she would be able to make that determination earlier than the ending.  This may not be true, but it is an unusual book and if those qualities that make it odd give pause, they are present throughout.  As su...

The workshop this morning was very positive.  Essentially, the play is in place, with the new ending needing a slight tweak, but otherwise the story is working.  The main issue is still to cut more.  At the moment, it is running way over, but it was suggested that half a page might be sufficient.  Finding those cuts at this point is getting a bit more challenging, but it is not impossible. My mind isn't really focused on that at the moment, though, as tomorrow morning I have my meeting with the agent, and am hoping to get some guidance about the next steps to take with my novel.  While she did state that it was well-written, the first and most essential question is whether it would benefit me to do more work on the manuscript. It may well be that the book is in need of work on some level, and I am glad to resume work on it if that is needed.  But it may be that she feels the book is ready for an agent, but it just needs the right agent.  In either ...

I started work this morning by completing the shift in tense for the script that I began last night.  Once I had completed that, I printed the work out so I could read through and make edits.  I started but took some time off during the afternoon and evening, then finished up tonight.  In my read through, I also found the answer for working in the ending, and wound up drafting some notes for that as well. So, I finished those edits and wrote in the new ending, and am rather pleased with the shape of the script at the moment.  I still have a lot of cutting to do, as the play is half a page or more over the suggested length, and I am planning to work on that, but I wanted to get a new draft completed before the workshop tomorrow morning, and I was hoping it would be a somewhat significant revision.  I feel that the changes I made and the new ending are a long way towards a polished draft, even if they still require work. The cuts I have made so far are signifi...

I did a first pass through the script, making changes based on suggestions from the last meeting I had with the other playwrights and Matt.  This did achieve about half of the cuts I need, but I still also need to add in material to make the ending work better.  I also did a second pass, which is only part way done, but is intended to switch back into past tense for the majority of the play.  Tomorrow, I will finish that part of the work in the morning, and probably print out the play and begin to make cuts that way. Honestly, it is a bit worrying, but I know that the story can be much smaller, because it was much smaller at one point and only a few actual events have been added.  In many ways, the structure is largely identical in terms of the actual story, and so it is easily possible to take it back down without destroying what is essential.  It is a matter of balancing the voice and of getting things out that don't add to the dramatic tension. I shoul...

My intention today had been to read through the notes from last night and then to begin work on the new draft.  While I did read the notes and began some preliminary thought on how I will continue the work towards the final version, I didn't get to work as I had other news that interrupted me.  Specifically, I heard back from the agent who had requested my manuscript.  As expected, she did not offer me representation, but her message was very positive and struck a largely apologetic tone, which may be the norm, though it does seem sincere. Specifically, she mentioned that the writing was impressive and superior to most of what she is used to encountering in manuscripts she receives, she stated that the protagonist was compelling, and that she "loved" the sense of atmosphere that the book created.  These are wonderful things to hear, and I do feel bolstered knowing that the quality of the work shines through.  As I have mentioned, there are times when I do feel...

I finished the work editing the draft of my script this morning.  It came in at around nine pages, but it has a lot that I know can be cut.  In the workshop tonight, I got a great deal of advice towards that and some other considerations as well.  For one thing, it was suggested that the ending may well need to be stronger.  I am considering how to work it in, and I think I have a good idea of what to do. There are a number of other small suggestions that I think were very good, and I know I have a good deal of work to do.  Matt basically said I need to aim at a seven page maximum and I am currently at nine pages, so that is going to take a great deal of consideration.  I have a lot of good suggestions from him about how to begin that, and I think that I have a good deal more in mind that will help. The biggest issue is, of course, the ending, but I think I know how to work that out, and I think it might also offer other opportunities.  It will tak...

I completed the reread and notes for on the play draft, but have not yet finished the work in the document.  I expect that will go quickly and intend to conquer it in the morning. The meeting is tomorrow, so I have a strong incentive to do so.  I felt that most of the work was solid, but I also recognize many places where it can be somewhat tighter.  I intend to focus on getting the length down in the next round of edits. At this point, I feel that the play does have a lot of strengths, far more than the initial draft, and I think some of it is very economical, but I recognize that their are probably many places where I am adding more than needed in order for it to work as a play.  Being a person who is more accustomed to writing for the page, I am certain that I have details which aren't needed and would communicate through staging.  That is not something I had looked at yet. As well, I am considering the trick of embedding one story inside another, and how...

Today has been a rather difficult day for me, and I did not do a lot of the work I had intended.  I should have been more prepared for this, but it is sometimes natural to distract your thinking.  The thing is, it would have been my father's seventieth birthday today.  He died in 2016, and you can probably imagine that it is still something that feels rather fresh. This morning, I was reminded as well that it was also the birthday of Thomas Lux, who was my adviser (or don, the term utilized at Sarah Lawrence (a reference to Oxford University and not the mafia)).  He was a formative influence upon me in my youth, and played a large role in the decisions I made to pursue writing seriously.  His direction led me towards graduate school and even in my selection of where to study.  In many ways he served a role as a secondary father figure of sorts during my early time at school.  Alas, my relationship with him was cutoff when I graduated, and I had actua...

I am continuing work on the script for my play.  The revisions are going well.  I spent much of the morning making notes on the first few pages and then restructured the opening slightly.  I have made notes on about half the play at this point, and should be through with the rest of it tomorrow.  My intent had been to get further in that process today, but I wound up needing to fix the start while the ideas were clear, and that slowed down some of the other work.  I do feel it is a good choice, though, as I think the new opening will work far better. It is a fairly minor change that I made, in the start of the play.  The initial opening the character is talking directly about the dog, but I restructured it slightly so it is the family eating and him raising the subject to ask about getting a dog.  In this way, I also introduce a number of other elements, and am able to shift the focus to the family and not just Jeff's want for a pet.  While I th...

I focused today on rereading the script.  I didn't do any major notes or anything, just reading it through.  Now, there are some typos and a few errors in consistency, and that sort of minor issue, but generally I feel it is working.  It is funny to me that I didn't really consider some of the things I did in terms of what they are really building up, and how much work has been done to make things clear to the audience outside the awareness of the character. I didn't take notes yet (I plan to do that tomorrow, as well as to get in on making the obvious corrections and changes), as I felt it was a good thing for me to just read it through a bunch.  I think it did give me a better sense of what is and is not working, and I am contemplating doing a read-through of it on camera for my own edification.  I think it might be helpful to hear it out loud and to notice how I read it.  Often, I've noticed that I will edit things as I read, especially my own work, so...

I didn't feel very much like getting to work this evening, but I knew that I had to do at least a bit of work, and as soon as I was set down, and began, it just came out.  It is funny how that works, as there have definitely been days when I was ready to go and then nothing happened, and others like today when I am exhausted and feel no urge to work, but something sparks and I fly through a large chunk of work. Specifically, I completed the full rewrite on Origin of An Internet Cat (a title that is less applicable, I think, if it was ever anything more than just cute).  That is not to suggest that the work is done by any stretch, but I have a much clearer sense of it as a whole, now, and can begin more work of going in and tweaking parts.  Of course, I still have a lot of cutting to do, of course, but I know that will work itself out. The cutting has a number of different possible targets.  First, all the minor cuts that I can do where the events are not changed ...

I have gotten a fair bit of work done this evening, though it was not all writing.  I had some work to do for the Palm Beach Poetry Festival community workshop I'll be running so that they advertise it on their website.  As well, I needed to work on my W/R query in order to be prepared for my upcoming meeting.  That is on the 17th and I am a bit nervous about it, as I do expect that the book will have been read by then.  I've already gone over my concerns about that, but they are natural.  Part of me still feels very much that my book isn't ready, despite so much positive feedback around it. In other arenas, I worked again on my play, and it is again expanding, but I think it is alright.  I know it is currently too long, but that is not as much of a problem, as I can cut it.  That is the key.  The point I am at right now, I am adding in all the stuff that I need in order to write the play, but a lot of that is likely to be scaffolding that doesn...