A Writer's Notebook, Day One-Hundred-Eleven
I focused today on rereading the script. I didn't do any major notes or anything, just reading it through. Now, there are some typos and a few errors in consistency, and that sort of minor issue, but generally I feel it is working. It is funny to me that I didn't really consider some of the things I did in terms of what they are really building up, and how much work has been done to make things clear to the audience outside the awareness of the character.
I didn't take notes yet (I plan to do that tomorrow, as well as to get in on making the obvious corrections and changes), as I felt it was a good thing for me to just read it through a bunch. I think it did give me a better sense of what is and is not working, and I am contemplating doing a read-through of it on camera for my own edification. I think it might be helpful to hear it out loud and to notice how I read it. Often, I've noticed that I will edit things as I read, especially my own work, so that is certainly a part of it. Generally this is minor changes that I seem to make unconsciously, and it may be that I have failed to correct them on the page because they are already fixed in my mind. In addition to noticing those things, of course, the act of hearing the work out loud, and the act of reading it aloud as well, will provide me an opportunity to experience the work through other perspectives. In listening, I hope to get a glimpse of the audience's potential experience, obviously, and to thus be better able to make the edits I know I must do.
In reading it today, though, I did have a lot of insights. I've a few places that need bolstering, but what I noticed that really excites me is that I made the play about a drama that isn't even central to the story that Jeff thinks is the center of the story. I believe much of this has been done in a way that is clear but not pointed. I recognize a small point that can make it clearer in one spot, and I am sure there are others, but the overall of it has moved in a direction that makes it a play about more than Jeff and his cat. It becomes a significant moment for the character, and it shows him taking on a certain kind of responsibility and self-care through that.
I don't want those things to be over the top, of course, and I do worry about dealing with such sensitive issues, but as someone with severe learning issues of my own, I don't feel I am doing so without a certain sympathy that many writers that tackle these topics lack. It may be that my own reticence is the sign of that empathetic streak. I do worry that I could have a detail off here or there, so while I have done my research and know exactly what is going on, I don't plan to make Jeff's condition overly explicit.
I do think that the voice I've captured and his mental acuity are a somewhat realistic, if more dramatic, portrayal. My goal cannot be to create something entirely real, but is instead to capture something in a way that is realistic enough to work in the terms of the play. I could attempt to just portray the realest aspects and have something that may or may not make complete sense to an audience, but that does not serve anyone, not even those with such conditions. I do not mean to suggest that such conditions make it impossible to understand a person or for them to express the ideas that would make this coherent, but rather am speaking of my limits as a writer and the limits of the medium as I understand it, especially in the specifics of my current task.
Now, all that aside, I feel quite strongly about the play, which is good, but daunting, as it is currently far too long, I believe. I could be wrong about that, honestly, but I don't know. I am going to have a lot of work on it to do in any case, and that work is going to have to begin with cleaning it up tomorrow. In the morning, I am hoping to get another read through done, this one with a pen so I can mark up the errors. Then, I will make those edits, to clean up the draft and make a few small tweaks that I am thinking of already. I will then read it again, and probably start another draft, focused on tightening it now that I have the major structure in place.
So, tomorrow will be a busy day, and I am excited about that. I feel that I have something that is working and has a real power in it, and now I am polishing to make sure that what is important about the play becomes the focus. I don't know how it will seem on stage, of course, but I feel confident that I have made many of the choices that are going to make that work. In the end, it feels as though I've created something that seems worthwhile, even if I wasn't sure about it when I began. Of course, it is a very different work in many ways, but I also see the seeds of so much that is now made extant in the first idea, and I am really enthused about the work as it has progressed.
I didn't take notes yet (I plan to do that tomorrow, as well as to get in on making the obvious corrections and changes), as I felt it was a good thing for me to just read it through a bunch. I think it did give me a better sense of what is and is not working, and I am contemplating doing a read-through of it on camera for my own edification. I think it might be helpful to hear it out loud and to notice how I read it. Often, I've noticed that I will edit things as I read, especially my own work, so that is certainly a part of it. Generally this is minor changes that I seem to make unconsciously, and it may be that I have failed to correct them on the page because they are already fixed in my mind. In addition to noticing those things, of course, the act of hearing the work out loud, and the act of reading it aloud as well, will provide me an opportunity to experience the work through other perspectives. In listening, I hope to get a glimpse of the audience's potential experience, obviously, and to thus be better able to make the edits I know I must do.
In reading it today, though, I did have a lot of insights. I've a few places that need bolstering, but what I noticed that really excites me is that I made the play about a drama that isn't even central to the story that Jeff thinks is the center of the story. I believe much of this has been done in a way that is clear but not pointed. I recognize a small point that can make it clearer in one spot, and I am sure there are others, but the overall of it has moved in a direction that makes it a play about more than Jeff and his cat. It becomes a significant moment for the character, and it shows him taking on a certain kind of responsibility and self-care through that.
I don't want those things to be over the top, of course, and I do worry about dealing with such sensitive issues, but as someone with severe learning issues of my own, I don't feel I am doing so without a certain sympathy that many writers that tackle these topics lack. It may be that my own reticence is the sign of that empathetic streak. I do worry that I could have a detail off here or there, so while I have done my research and know exactly what is going on, I don't plan to make Jeff's condition overly explicit.
I do think that the voice I've captured and his mental acuity are a somewhat realistic, if more dramatic, portrayal. My goal cannot be to create something entirely real, but is instead to capture something in a way that is realistic enough to work in the terms of the play. I could attempt to just portray the realest aspects and have something that may or may not make complete sense to an audience, but that does not serve anyone, not even those with such conditions. I do not mean to suggest that such conditions make it impossible to understand a person or for them to express the ideas that would make this coherent, but rather am speaking of my limits as a writer and the limits of the medium as I understand it, especially in the specifics of my current task.
Now, all that aside, I feel quite strongly about the play, which is good, but daunting, as it is currently far too long, I believe. I could be wrong about that, honestly, but I don't know. I am going to have a lot of work on it to do in any case, and that work is going to have to begin with cleaning it up tomorrow. In the morning, I am hoping to get another read through done, this one with a pen so I can mark up the errors. Then, I will make those edits, to clean up the draft and make a few small tweaks that I am thinking of already. I will then read it again, and probably start another draft, focused on tightening it now that I have the major structure in place.
So, tomorrow will be a busy day, and I am excited about that. I feel that I have something that is working and has a real power in it, and now I am polishing to make sure that what is important about the play becomes the focus. I don't know how it will seem on stage, of course, but I feel confident that I have made many of the choices that are going to make that work. In the end, it feels as though I've created something that seems worthwhile, even if I wasn't sure about it when I began. Of course, it is a very different work in many ways, but I also see the seeds of so much that is now made extant in the first idea, and I am really enthused about the work as it has progressed.
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