A Writer's Notebook, Day One-Hundred-Nineteen

I did a first pass through the script, making changes based on suggestions from the last meeting I had with the other playwrights and Matt.  This did achieve about half of the cuts I need, but I still also need to add in material to make the ending work better.  I also did a second pass, which is only part way done, but is intended to switch back into past tense for the majority of the play.  Tomorrow, I will finish that part of the work in the morning, and probably print out the play and begin to make cuts that way.

Honestly, it is a bit worrying, but I know that the story can be much smaller, because it was much smaller at one point and only a few actual events have been added.  In many ways, the structure is largely identical in terms of the actual story, and so it is easily possible to take it back down without destroying what is essential.  It is a matter of balancing the voice and of getting things out that don't add to the dramatic tension.

I should have been working more today, but my mind was still elsewhere, thinking about the novel and the questions I have surrounding that.  I am quite frustrated.  I am not so much hurt by the rejection at this point, as I do have perspective and realize that she isn't the only agent or even the one that I most wish I could work with, and I feel that the comments she made were genuine.  As such, I know that their are likely to be many wonderful agents who would be interested in my book, it is just a matter of finding them.  

What is frustrating, though, is the feeling that doing great work isn't enough. It isn't sufficient to have a book that is superior in its writing, and with other qualities of merit besides.  Now, of course, that is unfair to say, as it is not only a matter of the writing, especially when dealing with a work that is experimental, still I cannot help but feel that it should be a matter of the writing, and that it may well have been in an earlier era.  Certainly, I recall teachers of mine who basically said that it was a matter of doing the work and that good work would find publication.  I still believe that, but I feel strange that the work being good isn't enough. 

It is, of course, just me processing the rejection.  I can admit feeling their is something unfair about being told this work is incredibly good and yet not be offered representation.  It is a strange situation, and I realize that the challenges of attempting to place a novel that is experimental are great.  Many agents looking at my book would likely have the dread that they couldn't make it work commercial, in spite of the artistic merits.  That is their job, and it isn't fair of me to not consider that.

Anyhow, I feel that today was somewhat of a success, but I am behind still.  I have time during the day tomorrow, so I am going to sign off and keep this short in hopes of getting up early and setting to work.

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