A Writer's Notebook, Day One-Hundred-Nine
I have gotten a fair bit of work done this evening, though it was not all writing. I had some work to do for the Palm Beach Poetry Festival community workshop I'll be running so that they advertise it on their website. As well, I needed to work on my W/R query in order to be prepared for my upcoming meeting. That is on the 17th and I am a bit nervous about it, as I do expect that the book will have been read by then. I've already gone over my concerns about that, but they are natural. Part of me still feels very much that my book isn't ready, despite so much positive feedback around it.
In other arenas, I worked again on my play, and it is again expanding, but I think it is alright. I know it is currently too long, but that is not as much of a problem, as I can cut it. That is the key. The point I am at right now, I am adding in all the stuff that I need in order to write the play, but a lot of that is likely to be scaffolding that doesn't really add to the audience experience. It is there for me, so I know the whole structure and have it explored, and then I can trim it back and turn it into something that is more manageable. I want to be clear, though, while it is getting longer, it is still under ten pages at the moment, so it isn't that terrible, really.
Tonight, I did a fair amount of new material, really, and added in a few small bits that I like, as well as a bunch that is probably not really needed and goes on too long. The things I added are fairly simple. For one, I added a bit that shows the mother not wanting to get Jeff a leash for his cat because she is scared it will crush him if it doesn't work. I think I handled it well, and made it something that will work and will add a certain depth. It also takes and expands the play to be about more than just the one person, which was one of the things that Matt was interested in my doing.
His suggestion was largely to make the play about the people and to show this as being about them. In the original version, it was all the voice, and now I am getting to a place where it is actually a lot more dramatic. The stakes are larger, and the drama is increasing as the play goes. I think that I have done a good job of building some of that tension in without having to hit it over the head. In part, that was a thing that I had already left an opening for, and it was already building tension within the work from the feedback I received. Specifically, their is a bit where a goldfish dies and I've expanded to let it tell us more about the characters and the world. In the new version, it is a bit expanded to allow for a moment when the character discusses the issue of death and that is also used to provide a bit of exposition as well, that informs us that the father has been ill before and gone to the hospital.
In general, I think the new version is very good, and if it were not for the length issue, I would be much more excited about it. But, I know I will have a lot of work to do. I think that much of it will be easier than I expect, or maybe I am just telling myself that... It could easily be that way. I don't really want to think that it will be excruciating and difficult, but I am rather nervous at the expanding length of the piece. It is not that I don't think it is good, but rather that I am scared that it is good and I won't want to cut a lot of it.
But I already know that I can economize a lot of things in the story. There are places that I can cut from without losing much, things that are somewhat repetitive of previous points, and I can take out without the meaning being removed. As well, I am certain that a great deal of the language can be cut in a way that won't disrupt the voice. It is not all that hard to imagine that it could be pared down in a way that is still effective, especially in the hands of a performer who understands the character.
I am going to keep this a short entry, as I have an early start tomorrow and it is already quite late. I've still a lot of work ahead for the reading, but I am well on my way and very excited about the progress thus far. The play has taken on a lot more depth and is, I believe, becoming a piece that will work quite well on the stage. I am very excited to see how it shapes up, and I know I am only still at the beginning stages of that journey.
In other arenas, I worked again on my play, and it is again expanding, but I think it is alright. I know it is currently too long, but that is not as much of a problem, as I can cut it. That is the key. The point I am at right now, I am adding in all the stuff that I need in order to write the play, but a lot of that is likely to be scaffolding that doesn't really add to the audience experience. It is there for me, so I know the whole structure and have it explored, and then I can trim it back and turn it into something that is more manageable. I want to be clear, though, while it is getting longer, it is still under ten pages at the moment, so it isn't that terrible, really.
Tonight, I did a fair amount of new material, really, and added in a few small bits that I like, as well as a bunch that is probably not really needed and goes on too long. The things I added are fairly simple. For one, I added a bit that shows the mother not wanting to get Jeff a leash for his cat because she is scared it will crush him if it doesn't work. I think I handled it well, and made it something that will work and will add a certain depth. It also takes and expands the play to be about more than just the one person, which was one of the things that Matt was interested in my doing.
His suggestion was largely to make the play about the people and to show this as being about them. In the original version, it was all the voice, and now I am getting to a place where it is actually a lot more dramatic. The stakes are larger, and the drama is increasing as the play goes. I think that I have done a good job of building some of that tension in without having to hit it over the head. In part, that was a thing that I had already left an opening for, and it was already building tension within the work from the feedback I received. Specifically, their is a bit where a goldfish dies and I've expanded to let it tell us more about the characters and the world. In the new version, it is a bit expanded to allow for a moment when the character discusses the issue of death and that is also used to provide a bit of exposition as well, that informs us that the father has been ill before and gone to the hospital.
In general, I think the new version is very good, and if it were not for the length issue, I would be much more excited about it. But, I know I will have a lot of work to do. I think that much of it will be easier than I expect, or maybe I am just telling myself that... It could easily be that way. I don't really want to think that it will be excruciating and difficult, but I am rather nervous at the expanding length of the piece. It is not that I don't think it is good, but rather that I am scared that it is good and I won't want to cut a lot of it.
But I already know that I can economize a lot of things in the story. There are places that I can cut from without losing much, things that are somewhat repetitive of previous points, and I can take out without the meaning being removed. As well, I am certain that a great deal of the language can be cut in a way that won't disrupt the voice. It is not all that hard to imagine that it could be pared down in a way that is still effective, especially in the hands of a performer who understands the character.
I am going to keep this a short entry, as I have an early start tomorrow and it is already quite late. I've still a lot of work ahead for the reading, but I am well on my way and very excited about the progress thus far. The play has taken on a lot more depth and is, I believe, becoming a piece that will work quite well on the stage. I am very excited to see how it shapes up, and I know I am only still at the beginning stages of that journey.
Comments
Post a Comment