Poem: Something came but it was not when I was ready

Something came but it was not when I was ready

I did not expect it
or want it
in that moment.
That is fine.
I am not
in control
of when
the world goes
from this moment
to that one,
or how 
each is filled.
It happened
and I did not
allow it, did not
realize it was nothing
I could have changed.
It happened
and I am still here
but it is still
what happened.
I don't know
if that is 
easy to explain
or understand,
because I don't
have a clear way
to understand it,
to hold it.  I have
a beard on
so the mirror
will not show me
the ghost
that is beneath.

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