A Writer's Notebook, Two-Thousand-And-One-Hundred-And-Twenty-Five

Some nights I write a story and it is just me riffing and I don't have a clue where it is going, if I am honest, and tonight that is kind of what happened, and I am not really certain if it actually landed anyplace, in the end, but that is a hard thing for me to judge, to be honest.  In some cases, I think that the endings of my stories are kind of empowered by their being a little bit odd and abrupt in some ways, and I wonder if the kinds of endings that I tend to write, the places my stories tend to lead me, is not something I need to just accept and embrace and take further if I can, even if it isn't what I conceptualize as a good story ending.  I think it may be that I just need to realize that I am doing something else besides that, and just take that as a positive.  Even if I want to just push myself to learn more so I have more flexibility and the skill to write different types of endings, I would imagine that one important step for me is just that level of accepting the kind of endings I naturally gravitate towards as valid and meaningful.  I think that right now, I am kind of fighting myself to do something else, and that doesn't work.  Maybe I can get to a greater degree of flexibility and mastery, but to do that is far easier when I am not doing it out of fear that my current approach is not working, but instead as a way of expanding and experimenting so that I have more tools to select from.

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