Poem: I have made those choices

I have made those choices

each time, and I realize
they are not good for me.
I am not doing
what is best for me
when I choose.
I can do better
and I should.
I will, or I am saying
that I will,
I have to do it.
I want to do better,
or maybe I want to?
I don't know
how to be more committed.
It is more fun
to just do what I wish
and not worry
about consequences.
I wish that were not
what I preferred,
but it is no good to lie
and pretend I don't enjoy
enjoying myself.

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