Poem: A part of me hopes it doesn't go well

A part of me hopes it doesn't go well

though I know that is cruel
and I only mean it a bit, really,
but I am mad enough
and not so good a person
that I don't imagine 
things going wrong for you.
I suppose it is not what I want,
not what I really want.
I just wish
you understood
my feelings
and I imagine
things going wrong for you
might help with that,
give you perspective,
let you experience
a different side of things.
I can admit that is juvenile
and would not work,
and really, it is not even true.
It is just a desire
for it to go wrong
and for you to have to deal with that.
It is that petty,
but as I said
it is only a part of me
that feels that way.
The rest is more generous,
or maybe just less honest.

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