Poem: It is this again

It is this again

and that is fine, I think,
though it is upsetting.
I don't like it being this way,
even though I did everything,
made it happen,
am the only one involved,
made the decisions
that led to this.
I am responsible.
I can admit that,
or, maybe it is more true
that I can't deny it,
that it is too obvious.
It does not help
but it is still good,
I think, even if
admitting fault
does nothing 
to alleviate the problem.
I wish, at least knowing
that I did it, knowing
what happened
and the choices I made,
felt as if it were protective,
but I'll do it again, I think.

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