Poem: I need to

I need to

but don't want to
and am not certain
I am ready
or willing
or that I will be fine
if I do it,
and not certain
I can be alright
if I don't.
Either way
seems bad
and there isn't
a third option,
or if there is
it is worse
and not better.
I suppose
that might be
liberating, in a way,
the knowledge
that anything
is the same 
in that way,
but it doesn't help
with the sense
of being overwhelmed.

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