Poem: You worry that I am being unrealistic about this
You worry that I am being unrealistic about this
and might be going too far with my dreams,
letting it become an unrealistic fantasy.
I am not a realist,
that is true.
Realism bothers me.
I don't want
to be bound
by those constraints,
but I know
that is the way things are,
that the world
is limited, has limitations.
We are bound, so
I should be aware
and not go too far,
not get hopeful and dream,
become expectant. Reality
will come back at me.
It will limit me. It will
change what might be
into what can be, instead,
and that is a difference.
I know the fear you have
and I understand it.
I do get caught up
in my desires,
build them up
and refuse alternatives.
But I want to be hopeful,
want optimism to be a part,
want the process
to include more. It is open.
I am being positive right now.
I know there is a danger
of it becoming a want
that cannot be fulfilled.
That is always a danger for me.
I am not certain
what to do about that.
I am not certain
there is a way forward
without that risk.
I have to hope
it turns out well,
even if nothing ever has.
Maybe this time.
I am being optimistic.
That seems better to me
than just accepting
that it must be so much less
than what I really want.
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