A Writer's Notebook, One-Thousand-Eight-Hundred-And-Sixty-Seven

I am still kind of reeling from things.  I'm feeling very hurt and somewhat scared about what might result from the way things have been, and I am also a bit conflicted because I don't even know what I would want from this as an outcome, except, perhaps, in a very vague way that is mostly just what I would like it to feel like emotionally.  I don't think that is all that useful in present moment, though.  A large part of what is upsetting at the moment is that some members of my family have threatened drastic and rash actions in response to things being uncomfortable, and it all feels intentionally hurtful.  I can't help but notice, as well, that much of what is happening now is the direct result of other members of my family not being willing to allow anyone to express negative emotions, despite those feelings being a direct response to the circumstances that those same family members have created.

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