Poem: It is not what I want

It is not what I want

It was never
what I wanted,
and I don't want it now.
I wish it had not been,
that we had not,
that it was never done,
that I hadn't given in
to that pressure.
You won't understand.
You think it is fine.
You give reasons
why I am wrong
or why I should reconsider,
but they do not align
with what is wrong,
what why I resist.
I do not think
it is clear:
that path
means death to me.
Its heart does not beat.

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