Poem: I should have sent you all of the information but I have been waiting

I should have sent you all of the information but I have been waiting

There is no reason,
no good one
or practical one.
Nothing that is real.
I think it is fear
which has slowed me.
I think I will learn
there are limits
that I do not want.
I am hoping, still,
am waiting 
and being hopeful.
I am afraid
that is no good,
that it is just foolish.
I have expectations, now,
have dreamed too far.
I don't want to know.
I can send the information
and you will have answers.
Nothing will change
with what you say,
the possibilities
are already static.
I am afraid to know.
I would rather do nothing
and have it seem possible.
I know that is no good,
that it is not alright,
that how things are
is not alright,
but what good
is making it better
if it is not
the things that matter
which are fixed?

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