Poem: I have been thinking it may be too late now

I have been thinking it may be too late now

and it scares me that I think that.
It feels hopeless, feels like anything is pointless.
I am still trying, though, so maybe
I do not actually believe it?
Or maybe I am delusional
or know I can't give in 
to that belief, that it would hurt too much,
would damage me to accept that.
I don't know what to say or do, though.
I cannot fight against it, can't stop myself
from succumbing to the thought
that it is has been too long,
that the opportunity is lost, has ended.
I know that I need proof that this
is not the truth, is not really how it is.
I need evidence of things getting better.
That is all I am asking for.
It does not feel as if 
it should be this hard to find,
unless I am right and it is too late.
It scares me, as I said before.
I find myself rather scared. 

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