Poem: I tried to tell you

I tried to tell you

but only in a small way
and maybe you heard it.
I hope you did.
I am afraid.  I need
you to understand that,
to recognize it.
I don't like the possibility,
the answers that are not answers,
that tell me the rest
is just more dark,
more long and empty.
It is what I think is there.
Why would I let that be?
I told you that is no good,
is not a place for me.
I cannot remain here,
but I am trapped.
There is not any way forward
without intercession,
without an unlocking from without.
You do not have answers
or a way to change that.
It is still the only answer.
The other way is waiting,
though, is there,
heavy and final.
You must understand.
There must be something
that can help,
that can change
what is wrong
and does not pretend
that is something
within me
or my thoughts.
I do not know
what else to tell you.
I tried to be honest.
I am holding, though.
It won't be easy,
but I know
I must.

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