Poem: Things are out of order tonight

Things are out of order tonight

but I am fine with that, I suppose,
though it is strange
and I crave the return
of my usual ways.
It is not bad.
It could be.
Some nights
if this happened
I would be too upset,
but somehow I am alright,
have chosen to be calm,
I think.  How strange
to know it is my choice,
to admit that, to accept
that I am the one
who makes it so.
I have been one way
for so long
I did not recognize
my own part in things.

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