Poem: I Am Not Certain You Would Have Known What Was Meant

I Am Not Certain You Would Have Known What Was Meant

but I know
it would be wrong,
cruel, perhaps,
to tell you
in that way,
to have it appear
without warning,
and in a context
that denies you
any response.
It would be 
unkind of me to do that.
It might be hidden 
well enough
you would not know
what was beneath,
but I wonder
if that is a lie
I am telling myself.
I might want you to know.
I might want
to tell you 
in that way.
I do not like that,
do not want
that to be
a part of me,
but it must be there.
I will not do it, though.
That part of me
is not one
I will enable again,
at least not tonight.

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