A Writer's Notebook, Day One-Thousand-Five-Hundred-And-Ninety-Two

I am cranking back up my submissions once more, and I know it is going to be difficult.  I have enough experience that I expect it to be rather brutal, if I am honest.  Any submission I send out has low odds of being accepted.  It is not as if I don't realize that this is all normal, that it is the way these things go, but even knowing that doesn't make it any better for me, and I won't pretend to be thick skinned about it just because it is the attitude that is considered appropriate.  I am afraid that my sensitivity to this and the way it upsets me at times is probably going to do me harm, but I don't think that is reasonable.  I can't help that I am sensitive to this, and I wonder how my own neurodiversity plays into this.  I certainly think that their are aspects of my thinking around the issue that are impacted by my mental particularities, but it is hard to say that with any real certainty, since I have to believe that almost anything I am or do is going to be, at least in part, a thing I am doing with my neurodiversity as part of me.  Anyhow, I know I am setting myself up for more rejection and that it won't be good, but I also realize that I need to do it.  The only options I have are to keep going or to stop, and that is not a good set of options, because neither one is going to let me avoid remaining in the situation I am trying to get out of.  I need to get some real success with publishing my writing.  That is what is going to help me to feel different about this.  Of course, sending out my work is necessary in pursuing that goal, but it still doesn't mean that I don't worry about how all the rejections I am expecting will impact me.

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