Poem: After The Violet Selections

After The Violet Selections

We ask her what it was
because she was there
and experienced it all
and she cannot explain it
or tell us what it was in any way
other than what was already clear,
cannot offer any details,
says she can't think of them,
that it was not at all clear,
and I don't think it was good,
the way she can't recall it
or make any sense of things,
I think that means 
it was not very good
but she says 
it was, though I suspect
she means how it was done.
It might have been done well
even if what they did
was nothing of value.
Even a thing without value
can be done with care.
I think that is what happened,
I think they wasted the effort
to care for a thing
that was not worth the effort,
but I was not there
and I am cruel enough
to want it to be wrong,
to want it to have been bad
because it was nothing to me.
I should be different,
should be open.
Maybe her confusion
does not mean
what I believe.
I should trust
the possibilities,
but I am hurting
and it is easiest
to blame everything
that reminds me
of lost possibilities.

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