A Writer's Notebook, Day One-Thousand-Five-Hundred-And-Thirty-One

The more I write on what I had thought was my new novel, the more it seems clear that I am writing something a bit different than I had planned, a much more personal piece that is focused on aspects of my experiences as a fat person.  It may be that I have tricked myself into writing about something more directly than I was planning or felt inclined to do, or it may just be that I need to get through some of this in order to be able to reach the right space for writing this novel.  It may be that all of this will actually serve a function in the book at some point, though I am imagining it will need to be changed around from the way it is right now, if it is to be put in that context, since most of it is pretty disconnected from a real story at the moment.  It is not directly placed into a scene or a story right now, is more removed, focusing on certain fears that come up for me around the idea of trying another weight loss program at this point.  I had begun with the idea that it would lead towards a specific moment, an inciting incident for the story in which the main character is offered the possibility of a very different way to solve the issue of being overweight that doesn't rely on diet and exercise.  I had thought it was about creating a contrast against which those events would have a greater significance.  I am not certain that is the case any longer, it may just be this is important for me to write about in a way I hadn't recognized before.  Of course, that doesn't change the fact that it is also me moving towards being able to write this particular book, even if it turns out that I am currently writing something separate. 

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